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Rangers Satisfied with Quality of Recent Losses

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Unidentified Ranger has little to show for another quality effort. Team confident sophisticated NY hockey fans recognize the subtle plusses in each loss; post-game fan assault suggests otherwise

NEW YORK, NY (The Sportsman's Daily Wire Service) -- The Rangers played hard, showed on-ice teamwork and chemistry, killed penalties, received splendid goaltending and lead most of the game. That they lost 5-4 in overtime against the Atlanta Thrashers is apparently little cause for concern as the team expressed near-unanimity in taking comfort in the quality of their recent string of losing efforts.

"I would give us a 10 for effort, a 9 for stylish skating, an 8 for deft stick work, a 7.5 for comportment while short-handed, a 7 for presence and personality…and ok, a 0 for not winning, but that’s not necessarily what we’re here for,” said Ranger coach Tom Renney. “Look, like I told the guys, we’re not going to be able to control the outcome of every game. But Ranger fans are sophisticated and appreciate a quality effort.”

"Of course at some point you have to win more than you lose, but we haven’t yet reached that point,” said defenseman Aaron Ward, whose critical mistake lead to Bobby Holik's winning goal in overtime. “Right now the emphasis is on quality. Ranger fans are sophisticated and appreciate a quality effort.”

“I am not going to lie: winning is preferable to losing,” said Ranger President Glen Sather. “The winning will come, but sometimes you win by losing, so long as your losses are quality losses. Ranger fans are sophisticated and appreciate a quality effort.”

“We received a warm welcome when we walked out on the ice, the Rangers are a quality bunch, respectful, well-mannered and above all else, very gracious in defeat and vi-vi-vict…they are very gracious losers,” said the Thrasher's Bobby Holik, an ex-Ranger. “A higher caliber bunch you won’t find anywhere, but I’m not sure their sophisticated fans always fully appreciate a quality effort.”

After the game, some forty sophisticated Ranger fans brandishing pick-axes, pitchforks, tire irons and shovels massed outside the player's parking garage to express their appreciation for the quality of the Ranger’s recent efforts.

“This is a quality tire-iron,” said a fan, a 35 year-old attorney from Westchester. “To use anything less would be uncivilized.”

As cars carrying Rangers players emerged, the 40 plus fans swarmed. Ten minutes later, satisfied their message made the intended dent, the Rangers diehards repaired to a popular English pub for a bit of mutton and stout, their reputation for sophistication solidly intact.

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