Sportsman's Daily


Republicans Accuse Obama of Showboating Spectacular Dunk in 1978 High School Game

Obama Shoots Hoops

The Audacity of Hoop.  Barack Obama, shown here recently reliving his glory days on the court, said he never tried to show up anybody.

HONOLULU, HI (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Democratic Presidential nominee Barack Obama was a star player on his high school basketball team. In a game played on January 19, 1978 with his team far ahead with only twenty-three seconds remaining, Obama put an exclamation point on the festivities by going coast to coast for a spectacular, high flying windmill dunk.
“He looked like Dr. J,” said Donny Alapai, a member of Obama’s graduating class. “He took off at the charity stripe and glided to the hoop. If I could describe the shot, I would say it was like a phoenix rising from the ashes, filled with hope and intelligence. It was a transformational dunk – a once in a lifetime dunk.”
Republicans who witnessed the slam admitted it was graceful and stylistic, but lacked substance.
“He should have run out the clock with solid, fundamental four corners basketball. It shows strength and reaches across the aisle,” said Hawaii Governor Linda Lingle, a Republican. “The dunk, though spectacular, was self serving and just bad judgment.”
But most Democrats defend Obama’s right to dunk in that situation.
“This is more Karl Rove eleventh hour scare tactics,” said New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson. “It just goes to show you how the GOP are masters at reducing a thing of beauty like a spectacular slam dunk to a muscle flexing show of elitism.”  
“In the heat of battle, you do and say things that down the line you might regret,” said Barney Frank, a leading member of the House of Representatives. “I challenge anyone who’s played sports who hasn’t had a moment of hot dogging on the field or court of play to come forward. We’ve all been there. Barack was an excited young man – hormones coursing through his lean, athletic body – lovely Hawaiian school girls watching his every move on the court – coaxing the testosterone to spill over like a river of molten lava flowing dangerously close to a Kaho ‘olawe village.”

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