Sportsman's Daily


NHL Set to Go Entire Season without Being Discussed on Sports Radio

Mike Francesa

Puck off!!! WFAN’s Mike Francesa says “I ain’t talking hockey this year, or any year. You got that schmuck?”

BUFFALO, NY (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — The Buffalo Sabres, like every other NHL team are gearing up for another season. Except this year it’s with a bit of a twist. “I think this just might be the year,” said Sabres’ Right Wing, Jason Pominville. “This might be the year when no one talks about us at all – which is kind of nice considering a lot of us are very sensitive about being criticized in the first place.”

The NHL regular season begins October 3rd and the league office is hoping all thirty teams will go unnoticed on the highly critical sports radio programs around North America.

“Well, I’m certainly going to do my part,” said Mike Francesa of WFAN in New York. “If I don’t have to take a call from Ernie the Ranger in Yonkers or Jimmy High Sticking from Astoria, I’m thrilled. I’d much rather talk basketball or even fuckin’ tiddlywinks!”

“We’ve done a lot to earn the right to not be discussed,” said NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. “The main thing is we’re largely still considered a Canadian sport. Most people who listen to sports radio in the United States have never even heard of Canada. So, that’s a plus. We also have the Shasta Cola of TV contracts. So, yes, flying under the radar just might be in the cards.”

“I’ve been doing sports radio for ten years,” said Miami-based controversial on-air jock Sid Rosenberg. “You know how many hockey calls I’ve taken? Three. And two of them were from Mario Lemieux.”

Not all figures associated with professional hockey are thrilled with the lack of attention. Former AHL minor league hockey mascot Friar Puck (AKA Bernie Sandusky), says he detests the anonymity. “NHL? Are you kidding me?” said Sandusky. “You should try getting someone to talk AHL on radio. You’ve got a better chance of seeing Lyndon LaRouche being elected president.”

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