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Jesse Helms’ Death Prompts Michael Jordan to Issue Belated Endorsement of Harvey Gantt
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Michael Jordan offers to put Jordan brand behind Harvey Gantt's next campgagn -- one Gantt has no plans to run. |
Jockstraps Radio
The "Voice" of TSD
With Host Tom Alexander
and TSD Editor-in-Chief
Charles Epstein
Best UNCENSORED Moments on XM Comedy
XM 150
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RALEIGH, N.C. (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) -- Former Charlotte, N.C., mayor Harvey Gantt, an African-American, twice ran and lost U.S. Senate challenges to unseat arch-conservative Jesse Helms. When approached by Gantt's campaign for an endorsement, former Tar Heel Michael Jordan famously replied, "Republicans buy sneakers, too."
While he’s caught heat for it over the years, Jordan’s never addressed it beyond those brief dismissive remarks. With Helms’ passing on July 4, Jordan took a breather from an all-night poker game to break his silence on the controversial subject.
“What I said was true - Republicans buy sneakers. And usually full retail. But I’ve since realized that there are more important things than money, or market share or the Jordan brand.”
Jordan paused. He then tented his fingers, looked around the room, and furrowed his brow as though in deep thought. His lips moved as though they were about to form words, but none came. About ninety tense seconds passed before Jordan finally spoke.
“When I played there’s twenty thousand fans in the stands, all cheering for you, right? But how do you know the guy in section C isn’t a pedophile, or the dude in row 8 isn’t a serial killer, or the father of three sitting courtside isn’t screwing the nanny? As a player you know going in that, statistically speaking, part of your fan base should be behind bars, no question. So what do you do – other than tighten security -- not let them into the game when they’ve paid for the seats?”
Jordan was asked if he was likening Nike-buying Republicans with pedophiles, serial killers and husbands that take liberties with the Brazilian nanny.
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TSD Featured Every Tuesday and Saturday
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| Lone Kansas City Royals Fan Hints He May Move |
KANSAS CITY, MO. (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The Kansas City Royals are trying to come to grips with the fact they may be losing their only fan. Pete Luchetti, the only fan in the ballclub’s forty year history, has suggested he might be moving. “I’m getting older now,” said the seventy-four year old Luchetti. “The winters are tougher to endure. I have a brother in Florida and a sister in Arizona. I can’t afford two houses. I’d like to be in one of those two places full time.”
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| Baron Davis Inspires Oakland Man to Opt Out of Fourth Year of Marriage |
OAKLAND, CA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) -- Thirty-two year old Oakland native Nate Russell agonized for weeks, weighing the pros and cons of remaining with his wife of three years, or opting out in his “walk year” to test his value on the open market.
“Before getting’ hitched I’m like, yo, let’s give it three years, then see how it goes before making a decision on year four,” said Russell. “Kendra and me we had three decent years – we knew our roles and did ok. But by the time year four’s rolling around you get to wondering what else is out there... |
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BREAKING BALLS |
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Jeff Gordon Wants Softer Walls in Vegas
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| TJ |
I went to Vegas this year on the World Poker Tour and ran into Jeff Gordon. Okay, I didn't run into him, he drove past me, really, really fast. Okay, I wasn't in Vegas for the World Poker Tour. You called my bluff! But I was playing poker. Okay, I was at home, but it was sort of like the Poker Tour, lots of celebrities. They were on the television. I was watching that award show.
But Vegas baby! It's crazy isn't it? I've never been, but I've heard. Beautiful, extravagant hotels. If those walls could talk, right? They must have been talking to Jeff Gordon, because they're too hard.
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FEATURES
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‘Roids Ravage the Runway: Super Models Exposed as Clemens Affair Takes Unexpected Turnby Lloyd Featherstone
(Special to TSD)
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6’-7” Amazonian supermodels from Latvia…models with superhuman stamina, capable of withstanding 72 hour non-stop photo shoots…hair stylists and personal assistants pummeled in fits of rage…TSD’s investigative fashion writer, Lloyd Featherstone, files this head-turning account from New York in the aftermath of Fashion Week.
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Ask Andre
Andre Morrelenbaum, the award-winning journalist and Jockstraps Radio correspondent, delivers advice the old-fashioned way: with contempt and disdain. If you want to ask Andre, ask here. |
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Dear Mr. Andre, If Roger Clemens was a tree, what tree would he be?
Buddy Hayward, Age 6, Plymouth Meeting, PA
Hi Buddy!
Thanks for your question. Before I answer it, could you tell me if your parents are home... |
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REGGIE'S SICK PUP OF THE WEEK
I don't like it when my animal brethren are targeted by people -- especially some goofball golfer in bad pants. Granted, I have been known to chase a duck or two out of our yard, but taking a golfball between the eyes ain't pretty. This guy gets what he deserves...at least a two stroke penalty.
ORLANDO, Fla. -- Pro golfer Tripp Isenhour apologized for killing a hawk that was making noise while he tried to film a TV show. Now the Humane Society wants the PGA Tour to take action.
"Because of the high profile nature of this case, the PGA needs to take steps to address its interest and to make it clear that they don't condone animal cruelty," said Dale Bartlett, the deputy manager for animal cruelty issues for the Humane Society of the United States. Bartlett said the organization would contact the PGA Tour on Friday to discuss the issue. Isenhour, who plays on the developmental Nationwide Tour, was charged Wednesday with cruelty to animals and killing a migratory bird, misdemeanors that carry a maximum penalty of 14 months in jail and $1,500 in fines. (From CBSSports.com wire reports.)
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