Sportsman's Daily


Champion Sports Fisherman Finally Unearths Age Old Source of “Something Rotten in Denmark”


What a Stinker!  Anders Rasmussen, one of Denmark’s top professional fisherman stands with the fountainhead of the rotten smell that’s perplexed Danes for years. The fish was remarkably well preserved.  

COPENHAGEN, DENMARK (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) “There’s something rotten in Denmark.”  You’ve heard older people say that ever since you could remember.
But who among us has contemplated what it really means? Was it ever really explained to you? Conventional wisdom dictates it means “someone’s up to no good.”  

Granted, the phrase was shortened from the original “something’s rotten in the state of Denmark” from William Shakespeare’s Hamlet, but no one can deny that the phrase, though a bit dated, took on a life of its own – as evidenced by the line’s use in day to day conversations in the English speaking world. When something was out of sorts – no matter what the platform, Denmark generally got the blame.

Danes appeared to take it in stride. After all, they didn’t have the pressure of matching up to their larger Scandinavian neighbors to the north, Sweden, Finland, and Norway. Denmark as a whole just flew under the radar. But lying underneath the collective national stiff upper lip, lied deep self-loathing and shame.  Whatever was rotten remained a source of international ridicule, though younger generations have shied away from using the phrase openly.

But now, after years of people trying to determine just exactly what is rotten in Denmark, Anders Rasmussen, the country’s most popular champion sports fisherman figured it out. Rasmussen along with first mate Orsted Petersen, was preparing to launch his boat, Teen Angst, when he caught the unmistakable waft of something quite rotten.

“I was just about to load up my nets when my eye spotted something just under the pier,” said the 34 year old angler. “I pulled it up and the stench nearly made me sick. Orsted and I knew right away what it was. We called the producers of our fishing show as well as several members of the media, and it was pandemonium.”

“No one has been able to fully determine what kind of fish it is, but it’s phenomenally well preserved,” said Anna Clausen, 24 year old host of Denmark Today, a television news magazine program. “Upon catching a whiff of the fish, most of the media couldn’t stop throwing up, but it was worth it. Now, we can all rest easy.”

There is no doubt that the fish is the sole source of the rotten stench that has plagued the country for centuries. The nation as a whole can truly heal. A parade, with the fish in full view, is scheduled for November 30th.

But not everyone is thrilled.

“Personally, I’m pretty upset,” said Otto Svendsen, 1985 Danish Deep Sea Champion. “I saw that damn thing sitting there forever, but I always had a cold and could never smell it. Now, Rasmussen comes along and gets all the glory – whatever.”

Neighboring Holland is concerned that the fish may be smuggled over the border and with it, the infamous insult and dishonor.

“Something rotten in Holland?” said Dutch soccer player Carl Brinkerhoff. “Let’s hope not.”

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