Archives - What's Left
- Champion Sports Fisherman Finally Unearths Age Old Source of “Something Rotten in Denmark”
- Cheney Shows Incoming Veep the Ropes – as Well as the Blindfolds, Chains and Handcuffs
- Rahm Emanuel’s Fearsome Intensity Forged in Chicago’s Toughest Ballet Studios
- Forty-Eight Year Old Queens Housewife Completes NY Marathon in Eight Hours Without Leaving Apartment
- As Debate Draws Near, Joe Biden Recounts His First Fight with a Girl
- Lance and Borat…for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
- Geeky ESPN Graphics Whiz Admits to Green Screening Erin Andrews into His Bedroom
- Olympics Closing Horror: Mothra Smashes Beijing!
- Spectacular Footage of Closing Ceremony Leaked
- Spectacular Footage of Closing Ceremony Leaked; Featured Nine Year Old “Dancer” Turns Out to be Creation of Pedophiliac Animator
- Devout U.S. Archery Coach Attributes Team’s Poor Showing to Christ’s “Understandable” Bias Toward Water Sports
- Fat Guy from Neighborhood Pool Goes on Michael Phelps Diet; Dies Next Day
- Olympics Update: Only Man Living on Dry Tortugas Really Pissed with Poor TV Reception
- U.S. Olympians Resent “Opportunity Imbalance” in Talking of Phelps’ Eight Golds
- Roger Ailes Tours Xinhua News Agency: “There’s a Lot to Like”
- Olympics Update: Cardinal Salvatore Di Palma Late Entry into Beijing Games; Represents Vatican City
- USA Gold: French Miss Win in Swimming Relays by Eight One-Hundredths of a Second by Pausing Momentarily to be Obnoxious
- Bill Clinton Gives Clinic at Politics Camp; Gets Roughed Up in Volatile Q&A
- Member of US Rifle Team Sprains Trigger Finger in Final Workout; Doubtful for Games
- Man Produces Actual 10 Foot Pole He Wouldn't Use for Intercourse
- Olympic Hopeful Enlists Mark Penn to Create Feel-Good Back Story
- The Sportsman’s Daily Remembers George Carlin
- Trash Talking Contestants Roil 80th Spelling Bee
- Two-Legged Modesto Man Disqualified from One-Legged Ass-Kicking Contest
- Forty-three Seconds of Wholesome Sports TV Accidentally Shown during Porn Channel’s Top Show
- Identical Twins Freak Out High School Basketball Conference by Posting Identical Stats
- Bill Buckley’s Shocking Sailing Logs Discovered; Erudite Colloquies by Day, Drinking, Mayhem and Murderous Intent by Night
- Little League Coach Trades His Son for a Case of Schlitz
- Eccentric Chess Master Bobby Fischer Dies; Finding Pallbearers Difficult as Only Two People Liked Him
- Marion Jones Vows to Shave Five Seconds Off Six Month Prison Term
- Iowa Caucus Degenerates into Confusing Night of Mixed Sports Metaphors; Commentators Undecided
- Whether Obama’s Victory is a Slam Dunk, a Ground Rule Double or an Opening Round of 69
- Forty Eight Year Old Queens Housewife Completes NY Marathon in Eight Hours Without Leaving Apartment
- Flight Attendant Bedded the Mick and Spiro; Claims VP Better in the Sack
- Cyclist with USA Development Team Suspended for Suspicions of Illegal Drug Use
- Eighteen Marauding Quidditch Players Arrested for Sodomizing Patrons at Ten London Pubs
- Trash Talking Contestants Roil 80th Annual Spelling Bee
- Fans Demand Apology from Don Imus for Embarrassing Display of Public Groveling
- Iditarod Brought to Halt as Mistreated Dogs Refuse to Run
- Academy To Add New Category in 2008: Best Performance by an Athlete in a Supporting Role
- Former Tour de France Cyclist Actually Forgets How to Ride Bike
- Male Figure Skater Admits He’s Straight
- Man "Lives" in Gym as Family Fortune Goes to Seed
- CBS Sports Host James "JB" Brown Seriously Injured Executing Physically Demanding Dance Sequence
- Freak Injury Relegates Rosenberg to Everyman Status
- Pharmacy Technician for CVS Insists He’s Sportscaster for CBS
- Kim Jong Il Challenges Bush to Staring Contest at Madison Square Garden
- 43 Seconds of Wholesome Sports TV Accidentally Shown During Porn Channel’s Top Show
- Sports Columnist Offically Runs Out of Ideas
- Man Believes He's Invented New Sport
- Man Who Never Heard of TiVO Thinks His Friend is a Sports Psychic
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