More Legal Troubles: O.J. Simpson Charged with Selling Uranium to Iran
Actors Studio Honcho Says NBA Enables “Culture of Bad Acting”
Champion Sports Fisherman Finally Unearths Age Old Source of “Something Rotten in Denmark”
Martha Stewart Gives Mark Cuban Useful Tips for Prison Living
Robert De Niro’s Plan to Bring Third Baseball Team to New York Gets Raves at Press Conference
Cheney Shows Incoming Veep the Ropes – as Well as the Blindfolds, Chains and Handcuffs
Cryptic Messages about New York Knicks Discovered While Playing Beatles’ Revolver Album Backwards
One of World’s Fastest Guitarists, Al Di Meola to Play National Anthem for Impatient Giants Fans
A-Rod Drives Maddona Meshuggah; Yankee Slugger Obsessed with Kabbalistic Ritual
Obama’s One Day NBA Contract Irks 14th Man on Bulls’ Roster
Rahm Emanuel’s Fearsome Intensity Forged in Chicago’s Toughest Ballet Studios
Super Agent Scott Boras Accused of Harvesting Ballplayer’s Testicles
Houston's Chinese Population Outraged as Yao Ming Pops Out of Immense Take-Out Box to Start Season
Republicans Accuse Obama of Showboating Spectacular Dunk in 1978 High School Game
Forty-Eight Year Old Queens Housewife Completes NY Marathon in Eight Hours Without Leaving Apartment
Charlotte Bobcats Continue Search for Identity; Investigators Have Few Leads
Jubilant Phillies Fans Overturn Cars, Vans, and Dom DeLuise
TSD Endorses Eleventh Hour Candidate for Prez; Myron Noodleman, Clown Prince of Baseball
Erratic Umpiring Prompts MLB to Consider Fan Voting to Decide Controversial Calls
Rays’ Manager Joe Maddon to Join Fabled Group of Horn Rimmed Directors with First Film
Series Shifts to Philly; Fans Set to Freak out Rays with Machete Giveaway
Two-Legged Modesto Man Disqualified from One-Legged Ass-Kicking Contest
Dr. James Dobson Blames Homosexuals for Rays Making and Subsequently Poisoning World Series
David Blaine to Watch Entire World Series Without Moving from Living Room Couch
Rays Star Evan Longoria Gives Praise to Rael by Pointing to Crotch
Philadelphia Overwhelmingly Supports Phillies, Though Twelve Percent Still Undecided
Renowned Atheist Calls God a "Delusion" -- But is "Very Impressed" with NBA Commissioner David Stern
Member of Carmello's Posse Let Go; Athletes Feeling Economic Pinch Trim Payroll
LeBron James Inexplicably Acquires Swedish Accent
New Leap Year Tradition: World Series Loser to Meet Wicker Man
O.J. Simpson Looking Forward to Being Somebody’s Bitch for Twenty to Life
Beantown Shift: Johnny Pesky to Throw Out Ted Williams’ Head to Start Game Three
As Debate Draws Near, Joe Biden Recounts His First Fight with a Girl
Oakland Raiders Assure NFL League Office Al Davis is Still Alive
After Painful Loss, Huge Mets Fan Tim Robbins Tunnels Back to Shawshank Prison
Lance and Borat…for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Clay Aiken Emboldens Three NFL Stars to Come Out
Researchers Harvest Athletes’ Brains for Ghoulish Concussion Study
Super Agent Scott Boras to Have Tattoo of A-Rod Removed from Inner Thigh
Minor League Pitcher Mistakenly Has Elton John Surgery
Patriots Unnerved by Vulgarity of Joey Porter's Taunts
High School Basketball Video Surfaces of Sarah Palin; Scores 22 Points While Taunting Russians
Leaked "Rosenhaus Doctrine" Reveals Super Agent's Shocking Plans to Expand Global Footprint
Lou Gehrig in Stands to See Derek Jeter Break His Yankee Stadium Hit Mark
NFL Plays Through Tense Day on Wall Street; Several Teams Narrowly Avert Disaster
Belichick Causes Controversy By Likening Makeshift Offense to “Putting Lipstick on Pigskin”
Geeky ESPN Graphics Whiz Admits to Green Screening Erin Andrews into His Bedroom