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Sportsman’s Daily to Issue NCAA Brackets Immediately after Tournament Ends

brackets

No Fool in the Office Pool. TSD refuses to get caught up in the bracket hysteria and says it won’t issue it’s bracket until after tourney time.

BOCA RATON, FL (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The Sportsman’s Daily has announced today it will wait on filling out and issuing its NCAA brackets until after the tournament has ended.

“There’s a lot of uncertainty and lack of confidence around the world right now,” said TSD legal team member Howard Plotnick. “We think it wouldn’t be prudent to add to the global hysteria with inaccurate or irresponsible prognosticating. We realize there are some, perhaps in the traditional sports reporting outlets, who might suggest we’re hedging our bets, but I assure you, our interests are for you fans.”

The Sportsman’s Daily asked the Sportsman’s Daily if they could at least suggest a final four. But no one was willing to go on record. However a large man near the back of the office seemed to yell out something that sounded a lot like “Pitt.” However, that was immediately explained away when we were informed that a delivery man from FedEx got his finger stuck in a stapler.

“You see what they’re doing, don’t ya?” said WFAN sportscaster Mike Francesa. “They refuse to break their record of never being wrong. And I for one support them. Who wants to be wrong? Especially a bunch of satirists. I just pray to God they don’t screw up filling it out after the tourney and embarrass themselves.”

The Procrastinators Society of America (PSA), who expect to release their economic forecast for 1984 in the very near future applauded TSD’s cautious bracket approach.

“This is wonderful,” said PSA spokesperson Bob Armstrong. “No use being hasty about such things. By the way, if you come back next week, I’ll give you another quote.”  

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CHARLES EPSTEIN

TSD Editor-In Chief and TSD Weekend Show co-host.
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TOM ALEXANDER

TSD Executive Editor and TSD Weekend Show host.
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Angelo Vecchio

ANGELO VECCHIO

DC's Foremost Authority on His Own Opinion
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