Sportsman's Daily


U.S. Open Tragedy: Rocco Mediate Climbs to the Top of Phil Mickelson and Leaps Off

Rocco Mediate

Springing into Im-Mediate Action. Rocco Mediate checks to see if the winds are with him moments before his fabled climb to the top of Phil Mickelson.

TORREY PINES, CA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — In what was one of the most dramatic finishes of the any major golf championship, Tiger Woods defeated 45 year old long shot Rocco Mediate on the 91st hole Monday afternoon capturing the U.S. Open. Mediate who on Sunday and Monday had the opportunity to finish off Woods with birdie putts, was unable to convert, opening the door for the world’s number one golfer.

The happy-go-lucky Mediate, a fan favorite throughout the tournament charming the capacity gallery with his infectious smile and friendly gestures, just seemed happy to be there. However, apparently the pressure of taking on Woods and eventually losing the championship put him over the edge.

Mediate quickly sought out Phil Mickelson, one of the tallest players on the PGA tour, scaled the 6’3’’ lefty, and leaped off tumbling onto the cushiony rough near the eighteenth hole.

“I had no idea Phil was still around,” joked a jubilant Tiger Woods. “I thought he’d have been home already. Glad Rocco’s going to be ok though.”

Mediate was apparently only slightly injured in what was clearly a desperate cry for help. “I really wasn’t sure what was going on,” said Mickelson. “I was just standing there and suddenly Rocco scampered right up my back shouting ‘don’t anyone come any closer.’ The next thing I know he jumped off. Ok it wasn’t much of a jump, it was really an awkward slip and stumble. The weird part was he tried it a second time. I pushed him away, then he said he wanted to climb Ernie Els.”

Mediate did indeed find Els, and immediately began his hike up the South African’s north side but discovered Lee Westwood had beaten him to the summit just above Els’ hairline.

The moment was not only painful, but doubly poignant for Mediate; losing a major to the world’s greatest golfer and discovering that his creative suicide attempt wasn’t even original.

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