Pac Man Jones Willing to Play Entire Season without Helmet
Ahh…The Hell-met With It! Pac Man says NO to protective head gear which he insists shows great selflessness.
DALLAS, TX (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Controversial NFL cornerback, Adam “Pac Man” Jones is still without a team. After being officially released by the Dallas Cowboys on February 9th, Jones remains in search mode – looking for a place to play.
In a desperate move, he has offered all suitors the unusual promise that he will play the entire season without his helmet.
“Finally, for the first time in his life, the man has made a sensible decision,” said Jones’ former coach Jeff Fisher of the Tennessee Titans. “It shows a willingness to have some sense knocked into him. Or develop rapid acting dementia, whichever comes first.”
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is considering whether or not to allow the oft-troubled Jones to play without any protective head gear.
“In his case, we’re considering making an exception,” said Goodell. “We feel constant trauma to the cranium might benefit him, as actually playing with a helmet has clearly done nothing for his common sense.”
“I’m excited about it,” said Jones in a telephone interview with the Sportsman’s Daily. “I want to show the league I’ve grown up. And to me subjecting myself to unnecessary life-threatening injury shows a ‘team first’ attitude which I’ve failed to exhibit in the past. Think of it as my own self-imposed comeuppance for past transgressions.”
TSD contacted Riddell, a major helmet supplier to the NFL regarding Jones’ decision. “We’re honored,” said spokesperson Maurice Wilkinson. “If you’re going at least not wear a helmet, we’re proud to be the helmet you’ve decided to stop wearing.”
The Authors of The Sportsman’s Daily