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Steve Nash Can't Understand Why His Buzzer Beaters Don't Dissolve into "That Really Cool Slow Motion"

Suns Guard: "I see it in movies and instant replays all the time"

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PHOENIX, AZ (The Sportsman's Daily Wire Service) -- Phoenix Suns point guard and reigning NBA MVP Steve Nash is dumbfounded. Over his career the 6'3'' all-star has hit many game winning shots with just seconds left on the clock but to him it all seems anticlimactic.

"I keep hoping for it to happen. But it's the same old story. I listen for that long musical drone and look for the reaction of people holding their hands up to the their faces when I let go of the ball with point six seconds left on the clock, but it doesn't happen," said Nash. "The ball goes in or doesn't and it's really quick. No slow motion at all, no dramatic close ups of teammates or opponents with sweat dripping off their chins with looks of astonishment, elation or anguish. What a freakin' buzz kill. You'd think with the new ball the NBA is using this year they could work that in. I see it in movies and instant replays all the time."

Coach Mike D'Antoni has tried on several occasions to explain to Nash that he's living in a world governed by physics and that certain basic scientific truths will always apply; like gravity, which in most cases prevents something like slow motion from occurring, but Nash isn't buying it.

"I think the thing with Steve-o-rino is he's such a great competitor and showman that it really pains him when everything happens in real time," said D'Antoni. "He's the first one to arrive and the last one to leave. I see him studying game films like it's the NFL. But he also watches a lot of basketball movies. One night after what Steve called 'a particularly ho-hum three pointer that won the game for us,' he called me into the media room. He had a bunch of old clips cued up and ready to go - "Hoosiers," "Air Bud," even "The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh," and "Amazing Grace and Chuck." 'Look at this,' he said. 'Everyone of these ends with that super slow-mo game winner. If Doctor J portraying Moses Guthrie could do it, why can't I?' Now, how do you explain to a guy who's so intent on bringing that kind of drama to the game that it can never happen? It's just beyond my capacity as a coach."

Though his teammates are concerned that the relentless pursuit of the slow motion buzzer beater may affect the team's performance, Nash refuses to give up. "I don't care if I have to go to those anti-matter scientists at CERN in Switzerland for a little help on my release point," said Nash. Wait!! I've got it...maybe they can just speed up the crowd, then it'll look like I'm doing it slow. Damn, am I smart or what?"

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