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NFL Round Up: Week Three Highlights

Favre Ties Marino’s Record for TD Passes; Two Errant Throws Away from Career Interception Record

Brett Favre

Packer QB Brett Favre prematurely celebrates what would have been career interception 276. The ball was ruled incomplete, leaving Favre tantalizingly close to all-time interception record -- so close "I can almost choke on it."

GREEN BAY, WI (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — Thirty-seven year old quarterback Brett Favre – who many thought washed up and retirement-bound -- continues his unlikely rejuvenation, leading the Packers to their third straight victory over the favored Chargers, 31-24.

In throwing for 369 yards and three touchdowns, Favre tied Dan Marino's record for touchdown passes (420)– one week after breaking the record for wins as a starting quarterback (150). After the game, Favre didn’t appear too impressed with tying Marino and didn’t appear eager to discuss the other NFL record he’s on the brink of surpassing: George Blanda’s 277 career interceptions.

"I'm going to be totally honest with you," he said. "It’s been gnawing at me. I’m not big on personal accomplishments, but that’s the big one. Them’s a lot of picks. Some you can’t help, you been around the league long enough and throw the ball as much as I have, NFL-caliber DB’s are gonna make plays. But mainly it just means a boatload of dumbass decisions, throwing off the wrong foot, trying to force it into triple coverage, sometimes with the game on the line. The other records are kinda nice, but when you combine ‘em with the all-time record for picks, hell, it’s like being a chick with big tits. It’s great till you realize she’s got three of them."

According to several teammates, Favre was determined to “bury a coupla picks” during last week’s 35-15 route over the NY Giants and get it out of the way without hurting the team, but the Giants refused to play along.

“Brett FedEx’d at least three balls into heavy coverage," said a member of the Giants secondary. "It was tempting, but we weren’t gonna just lay down and pick a couple off just to put him in the record books. If he wants it, he’s gonna have to earn it. You hear that Strayhan?”

Chad Pennington Pays Silent Homage to Mentor Following Jets Victory

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — Two weeks after being forced from the field with an injured ankle, Jets quarterback Chad Pennington led the Jets to a 31-28 victory against the Miami Dolphins. Early in the fourth quarter, Pennington , who is known for his deft ball fakes and crafty play-action passes, surprised the Fins and scored on a quarterback draw, putting the Jets ahead 31-13, a lead they never relinquished.

After the game, Pennington surprised onlookers by emerging from the shower wearing a pair of suspenders and top hat, fielding reporters’question in elaborate pantomime. It was later learned that during his junior year at college, Pennington completed a correspondence course offered by the Marcel Institute, a school for mimes established by the fabled French artist, Marcel Marceau, who’d passed away over the weekend at age 84. Friends and teammates of Pennington said he attributed his repertoire of adroit ball fakes to the intense three-week correspondence course he initially took to impress -- and have more meaningful sex with -- a foreign exchange student from Lyon, France.

“If you think his play-action is good,” said Jets backup quarterback Kyle Boller, “you should see him climb an imaginary rope. Tres fantastique!”

Pennington ended the post-game press conference – and his silent homage to his French mentor -- with an appropriate flourish, simulating a harrowing escape from a glass booth.

In an odd coincidence, reports out of Chicago allege that bumbling Chicago Bears QB Rex Grossman, who threw three interceptions in the Bears’ 34-10 loss to the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday, had dedicated his performance to the cherished memory of Alice Ghostley, a Grossman family friend who was best known as Esmerelda in the sitcom “Bewitched, “an inept witch whose spells never worked.

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