MLB Honors Kevin Costner for Appearing in Every Baseball Movie Ever Made
Is This Kevin? The star of Field of Dreams and Bull Durham is receiving the highest (and only) honor Hollywood bestows on baseball movie actors.
HOLLYWOOD, CA (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Sports movie buffs say the honor is long overdue. But Kevin Costner’s special day has arrived. Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig as well as several baseball luminaries including Hall of Famers Reggie Jackson and Tom Seaver journeyed to Hollywood, California to present the 54 year old actor with the first ever Bronze Ball Award yesterday. The unprecedented honor recognizes Costner as the only actor to appear in every baseball movie ever produced in Hollywood. The award is a five pound bronze baseball with the block letters of the HOLLYWOOD sign emblazoned between the stitches across the sweet spot.
“The magnitude of Kevin is almost as jaw dropping as the magnitude of me,” said Jackson, who slugged 563 homeruns over a twenty-one year career. “I remember seeing him in Pride of the Yankees when I was a kid.”
The timeline doesn’t correlate with Jackson’s claim. Pride of the Yankees was made in 1942, and Costner wasn’t born until 1955.
“We realize several of the films in which Mr. Costner was purportedly to have appeared, were made long before he was acting and in many cases, even born,” said Selig. “However, his father William, an electrician in the film industry, was used as an extra in every baseball film – and was carrying the seed that would eventually spawn Kevin – so we see no reason to quibble over details.”
But some baseball dignitaries are upset about the honor.
“It’s ridiculous,” said Hall of Famer Fergie Jenkins. “I Googled his ass. The dude was in three baseball movies, Bull Durham, For Love of the Game, and Field of Dreams. The latter of which, I’m man enough to admit, made me cry like Mike Schmidt at his retirement speech. And of course we can’t forget that scene in The Untouchables when De Niro took a Louisville Slugger to the back of the head of one of his cronies.”
Jenkins paused a moment to collect his thoughts and added, “Look, I can’t explain it. For some reason people just assume he was in every baseball movie. Kind of like how they might initially confuse Christian Slater with a young Jack Nicholson – until they realize Slater can’t act for shit. Bottom line, there’s no damn way this guy deserves this award, or honor or plaque or whatever the fuck it is.”
“With all due respect to Fergie,” said Seaver. “I beg to differ. I seem to recall Kevin Costner in every baseball movie I’ve ever seen. Come to think of it, I believe he was in some football movies as well. You can call me delusional but I also happen to think that Christian Slater’s work in Kuffs was pretty damn terrific. I also liked him in…in…uh…um…did I mention Kuffs?”
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