Ana Ivanovic Agrees to Hike Skirt Higher at Sony Ericsson Open
Hot Serbian Tennis Star to Sex it Up a Bit
So Balkan hot! Ana Ivanovic practicing her baseline reach-around.
MIAMI, FL (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Twenty year old tennis phenom Ana Ivanovic has answered her fan’s pleas to make her game more alluring by agreeing to hike her skirt an additional two inches at the upcoming Sony Ericsson Open in Miami. The move is meant to attract more male fans, (and some curious female fans) to her matches.
“She’s a wonderful tennis player and a beautiful woman, but let’s face it, guys go to women’s matches to watch their skirts flip up while serving,” said Alan Garver, a representative from IMG. “Catching a glimpse of peach colored panties, as delicate beads of perspiration slowly cascade down tight and tanned thighs can be a splendid thing. It often inspires the older male fans to harken back to their innocent youth and the days of grabbing their first titty or swapping spit with their cousin’s older girlfriend. So, on a business level, the hiking of the skirt works.”
“I was drawn to tennis because of the women,” said John McEnroe. “A lot of people attribute my meteoric rise to stardom to my insatiable will to win and off and on court intensity. That’s total bullshit. I just wanted to take a healthy peek at Chrissy Evert’s unyielding ass – back when she was the perky, Catholic school girl type and was something to behold; not the stone faced and acrid ogre we’ve all had to endure the past twenty years.”
“We’re all excited about Ana’s decision to hike her skirt,” said former pro and current tennis analyst Mary Joe Fernandez. “Hopefully after this we won’t get shit from the men about making the same money. When you combine a brilliant baseline stroke with taut ass cheeks, the world is your oyster.”
Ivanovic was a Serbian wunderkind who soared up the women’s rankings after turning pro in 2003. Savvy sports marketing pros as well as some perverted German businessmen lurking outside her practice facility had her pegged early on as a future tennis diva.
“I liken her to a Balkan Anna Kournikova with brains,” said Glenn Adamchak of the independent marketing firm, The Reserve Group. “She’s the perfect Bond girl – with the come hither stare, charming accent, and the kind of dynamic athleticism that makes you think she could do a series of back flips, make a perfect pinpoint landing on your shoulders and snap your neck with a tidy twist of her inner thigh. She’s big business and we all want a piece of her.”
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