Forty-three Seconds of Wholesome Sports TV Accidentally Shown during Porn Channel’s Top Show
Thousands of Degenerates Outraged at Cable Miscue
Stunning Bunt! Arnie Testa settles in for his favorite porn show, but gets the surprise of his life courtesy of a former Mets and Braves second baseman.
RENO, NV. (The Sportsman's Daily Wire Service) — Arnie Testa loves watching pornography. Testa, who works in a travel agency in Reno, Nevada is just one of the thousands of cable subscribers in the area who have added the Load Channel, a sexually explicit pornographic station available on Liberty Cable’s Deluxe Package.
But viewers of the 24 hour triple X rated channel’s highly watched 9 pm show, Boner Barn were unexpectedly presented with something they found shocking. Thirteen minutes into the program, the cable feed suddenly switched to a youth baseball hitting clinic teaching kids about proper bunting techniques and sportsmanship.
The 29 year old Testa was outraged. “I was all hunkered in for the night, ready to watch some pretty hot stuff,” said Testa. “Boner Barn’s the fuckin’ bomb. So anyway, they were debuting a clip from Asian Ball Lickin' Honeys No. 58. This great looking Thai girl, I don’t remember her name, was giving (porn legend) Peter North a freakin’ crazy ass hummer. Just when it was getting really interesting, the screen changed to some old baseball guy showing snot nosed kids how to successfully lay down a bunt. I’m like, ‘what the fuck? Ain’t that Felix Millan?’”
It was indeed the former Braves and Mets second baseman from the 1970’s. Apparently the mix-up came, when the board operator at the cable company accidentally switched feeds and the hitting clinic interrupted the Load Channel.
Liberty Cable spokesperson Vance Lawton confirmed the switchboard lit up and issued a formal statement. “Obviously this is extremely unfortunate and embarrassing for us. Our Deluxe Package customers pay a premium to enjoy high quality inter-racial, girl on girl, backdoor, glory hole, sorority slut type of action including Boner Barn. To abruptly be switched over to a harmless, saccharine, wholesome family program really has to be an affront to every Tom, Dick and Harry out there.”
The baseball clinic was shown for approximately forty-three seconds. When the program switched back to Boner Barn, Peter North was on to a different girl. “I lost the entire fucking story line,” a seething Testa added. “I expect a pretty hefty adjustment on my cable bill next month!”
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