Sportsman's Daily


Brett Favre Update: Fan from Staten Island Can Now Rest Easy Knowing Jets Will Be Incredibly Mediocre

Brett Favre autographed football

fWe’re number 14!!! That “middle of the pack” mantra clearly excites this Jets fan after getting the word that quarterback Brett Favre will bring his show to the Big Apple.

NEW YORK, NY (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — Now that the Brett Favre soap opera has finally reached its crescendo, Anthony Maggio from Staten Island can set his sites on the NFL season with a sense of peace after the midnight trade of Brett Favre to his beloved Jets.

“Whew, that was close," said Favre. “We all know what a big fan Anthony is. His peace of mind, along with thousands of others, is important to the organization. Me being at the controls this season will allow him to expect another humdrum, mediocre year at best. I basically address very little of the Jets problems and quite frankly expect to bring nothing to the table. However, I’d like to add parenthetically that I’ve certainly enjoyed being the center of the sports universe for the past month. It’s nice to get a little attention once in a while compared to what it’s like at home for example – where I’m reduced to taking out the garbage, walking the dogs, and having to listen to my wife’s incessant, nit-picky, conversations with her family.”

Maggio called the Jets’ starting quarterback from last season, Chad Pennington, thanked him, and informed him that his services will no longer be needed.

“Chad said he was surprised the call came from me and not the team, and asked me repeatedly who I was,” said Maggio. “But we’re a very close knit family here in New York, so I told (Jets General Manager Mike) Tannenbaum I’d handle it.”

The Favre trade obviously excites some fans, but Maggio is taking it in stride.

“When you’re Jets fan you usually waffle in the backwash between the delusion of anticipating a possible playoff scenario and really sucking big time,” said the 48 year old insurance salesman. “But now with Brett here, we are firmly entrenched in the middle ground that neither excites nor disappoints – that neither inspires nor frustrates. Oh sure, we may be teased at times with potential thoughts of a promised land, but will quickly plummet earthward, dust ourselves off, and live in the reality that we are just plain mediocre – like a slightly overdone steak at Appleby’s.”

“There admittedly is a sense of ease with mediocrity,” said Jets head Coach Eric Mangini . “Going into a season knowing that means we really won’t have to work hard. And who wants to work hard?”

» Read More Football Articles


The Authors of The Sportsman’s Daily

Charles Epstein Headshot


TSD Editor-In Chief and TSD Weekend Show co-host.
Read bio

Tom Alexander Headshot


TSD Executive Editor and TSD Weekend Show host.
Read bio

Angelo Vecchio


DC's Foremost Authority on His Own Opinion
Read bio

Angelo Vecchio


Helsinki Rinki with Katie Rinki
Read bio