Sportsman's Daily

 

After 57 Years of Marriage, Bobby Bowden’s Wife Finally Admits: "I Don't Understand Football."

Ohio State economist Dick Lunch

 

Tallahassee, FL (The Sportsman's Daily Wire Service) — Few major college coaches have earned as many accolades as Bobby Bowden of Florida State University. And no major college coach has garnered as many victories as the Seminoles’ legend. Yet somehow the first family of Saturday afternoons has a skeleton in their closet. It seems Coach Bowden’s high school sweetheart and wife of over 57 years, Ann, admitted recently she doesn’t understand the game of football, nor what her husband does on the sidelines. It seems inconceivable that the matriarch of a family so steeped in the game doesn’t even know what a touchdown is.

“There seems to be a lot of cheering when the fellas run around,“ Ann Bowden said. “But I’ll be dipped in dung if I know where they’re all going. And as far as Bobby goes, he wears that silly headset all throughout the game. I want to know who he’s talking to. It better not be some floozy. Because sometimes I hear him say ‘Dad gummit, you call that holding?’ The only one he should be holding is me - right after he brings home that pretty paycheck with the picture of the cute little Indian fella in the corner. Oops, I meant Native American.”

FSU Athletic Director Dave Hart Jr. says, “Annie’s a peach. But she really doesn’t care much for the game. She’d much rather do her needlepoint and occasionally take a little look-see into the men’s showers. Hey, whatever makes her happy. As long as Bobby‘s still winning, so who gives a crap?”

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