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| What can Brown do for you? Right now, not much, as he stares into the middle distance, wallowing in narcissistic despair. |
LOUISVILLE, KY (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) While the world of horse racing mourns the tragic death of Eight Belles, who was euthanised after shattering her front ankles in the homestretch of the 134th running of the Kentucky Derby, one colt is taking it particularly hard.
Derby winner Big Brown has remained unresponsive since learning of Eight Belle's death, despite repeated attempts by his trainer Richard Dutrow to bring the despondent colt around. For the past forty-eight hours, Big Brown hasn’t eaten or slept and other than briefly moping about the grounds, hasn't left the stable.
"I’ve tried telling him it’s not his fault, there’s nothing he could have done, but it falls on deaf ears,” said Dutrow. “He’s just too sensitive – something you don’t usually see in a world class athlete. But I suppose he comes by it honestly: his father suffered bouts of depression and his mother was suffocating and interfering. It’s a miracle he’s not a complete basket case. If he were a human being and not a horse with skills he’d be the equivalent of a 55 year old man living in his mother’s basement. I’m just at a complete loss -- we need an intervention and we need it fast.”
After winning the Derby in convincing fashion, Big Brown is – or was – an overwhelming favorite to win the Preakness in two weeks. Many believe he has a strong shot at becoming the first Triple Crown winner since Affirmed in 1978.
“What happened happened, Big Brown had no role in Eight Belles’ breaking her ankles,” said Larry Jones, Eight Belles trainer. “Actually, we’re not pleased that he’s horning in our grief. We’ll do the grieving, thank you very much. It’s like some acquaintance you barely know showing up at a wake and blubbering louder than the deceased’s immediate family. It’s ridiculous, inappropriate and we’re not impressed; he needs to knock it off.”
John Asher, spokesman for Churchill Downs, urges Big Brown’s team to “get a handle on their emotionally overwrought horse.”
“Everyone including Big Brown knows he had nothing to do with this tragedy. I’ve never seen such self-indulgence and trust me, I’ve been around a lot of thoroughbreds, including a gal from Kentucky I once dated. A real Southern beauty with a distinguished lineage. I still remember her laugh, she’d throw back her head and from her parted full lips would appear a perfect horseshoe of dazzling white teeth. But boy oh boy, she was one emotional filly. I once tried taking her from behind for a quick roll in the hay – literally as we were in a stable. Apparently she wasn’t in the mood and without turning let out a blood-curdling whinny and kicked me in the groin. You never know how a woman will react in a stable: they either find the presence of horses sexually arousing, or remain unmoved by the overwhelming presence of horseshit. It’s literally a crap-shoot.”
Dutrow called in Cesar Millan, the renowned “dog whisperer,” in an attempt to reach his despondent colt, as Milan claims he’s had also had some success communicating with horses.
“We spent a very productive hour together,” said Millan. “Right now he doesn’t even want to think about the Preakness. He needs time to make sense of this terrible tragedy. I mean, put yourself in his shoes, if you can: you’ve just dominated the field in the world’s most famous horse race, it’s supposed to be your day, it’s time to party…and all anyone wants to talk about is a second-place finisher who’s chief claim to fame is breaking her ankles. He ’s tried to be philosophical about it, but it hurts. Particularly since the bitch – what he calls Eight Bells – never gave him the time of day. “
Dutrow was relieved to learn that his horse was not despondent, just hurt and more than a little pissed.
“Now that I know it’s actually bottled up resentment, it’s something we’ll want to cultivate. Resentment is a powerful motivator, along with bitterness, rancor and envy. It’s a winning formula that I’m confident will carry us to the Triple Crown.” |
