Sportsman's Daily


Barkley Arrested Again; Attempts to Smuggle Excessive Stash of Ring Dings across State Line

barkley with ring dings

Bling Ding. Sir Charles explains just how much seriously valuable sweetness he was toting in the back of his SUV.

BULLHEAD CITY, AZ (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Charles Barkley’s out of control. He was arrested last week for driving too fast in an attempt to “get some sex.” Now, the former NBA star is accused of stockpiling Drake’s Ring Dings with the intent of smuggling the booty into Nevada.
Barkley was arrested at Bullhead City, Arizona, directly across the Colorado River from Laughlin, Nevada, when police pulled him over and charged him with erratic driving. Police also charged him with driving in a hospital zone with cream filling on his face.
“It’s a misdemeanor,” said Police Captain Travis McHale. “I’m talking about the cream filling part. Mr. Barkley was ingesting said Ring Dings at an alarming pace with one hand on the delicious spongy morsels and the other on the wheel. He also had in excess of one-hundred boxes of the Ring Dings in a burlap sack in the back seat of his SUV. Carrying such items with the intent to deliver does have its consequences. We also found some random samples of Yodels, Devil Dogs, and Funny Bones which we believe the suspect purchased directly from a delivery truck on its way to the 7-Eleven on Merrill Avenue.”
Police supplied the Sportsman’s Daily with a transcript of the APB issued to officers in the area:
Be on the lookout for a large stash of Ring Dings. They are attempting to cross into Nevada and are considered extremely delicious.

“What can I say? They got me,” said Barkley. “I was on my way to Vegas to hook up with my boys for a little night on the town and told them I’d bring some Dings and Dogs. They’re great for hangovers. How was I to know you can’t take more than twenty fuckin’ Ring Dings into Nevada? That’s one stupid-ass law. It’s not like I was stickin’ my dick in the dang things.”

» Read More Basketball Articles


The Authors of The Sportsman’s Daily

Charles Epstein Headshot


TSD Editor-In Chief and TSD Weekend Show co-host.
Read bio

Tom Alexander Headshot


TSD Executive Editor and TSD Weekend Show host.
Read bio

Angelo Vecchio


DC's Foremost Authority on His Own Opinion
Read bio

Angelo Vecchio


Helsinki Rinki with Katie Rinki
Read bio