Emotionally Fragile A-Rod Cries over Spilt Milk during Taping of “Got Milk?”Ad
A-hole! Alex Rodriguez’ unexpected emotional outburst during the taping of a Got Milk? commercial might go down in the annals of ad agency history as the most pathetic moment ever.
MIAMI, FL (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) The idiom “It’s no use crying over spilt milk” was put to the test yesterday when New York Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez became emotional when a stagehand dropped a half gallon glass container of milk while rehearsing for a commercial in the revived Got Milk? ad campaign.
Rodriguez, who lives in Miami during the off-season, often tapes commercials and public service announcements and was excited about being part of the new batch of Got Milk? ads. But it became clearly evident early on in the taping session the three-time MVP was distraught over something. Diego Sanchez, a veteran South Florida production assistant who has worked on hundreds of commercials since the 1970’s, tripped on a wire and dropped the prop milk bottle.
“The moment the bottle shattered he just started weeping like a six year old schoolgirl who misses her mommy,” said Sanchez. “None of us knew what to do. The waterworks show and cringe-inducing histrionics were more than any of us could handle.”
Rodriguez fell to the floor and started kicking his feet and pounding his fists.
“I’ll bet that bitch Madonna’s behind this,” said Luke Rowan, the Creative Director from Chiat Day, the agency in charge of the campaign. “She toys with her lovers – like picking a bloody booger from your left nostril and rolling it between thumb and forefinger until it becomes a tightly packed nodule suitable for flicking. A-Rod is that snot ball, cast off in the corner of a random room.”
A sobbing Rodriguez was unable to complete the taping of the commercial and was taken away in an SUV. The milk was cleaned up and the ad agency decided to go with plastic containers should the shoot be resumed later this week.
“Heads will roll when I get back to the agency. I can guarantee you that,” said Rowan. “It was our set designer Lars Pederson who decided to go with the glass bottle. I could see him chatting it up with the prop guy all freekin’ morning about how glass is so much more ‘authentic.’ It’s a fucking milk commercial people. Who gives a rat’s ass? You want artsy-fartsy, sepia-toned authenticity with the sparse soundtrack and glass bottles, go work in independent film and try shopping your self-indulgent bullshit at Sundance. Stupid fucks!”
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